ये मंदिर नहीं है

लड़का : जाने मन , इस  लिफ्ट  में चली आओ ,
लड़की: चप्पल  निकालू क्या ?
लड़का : पगली , ये  मंदिर नहीं है , ऐसे  ही आ जाओ .....
.........................................................
कहते है कि इश्क में नीद  उड़ जाती है ,
कोई हम से भी इश्क करे ,
कमबख्त  नीद बहुत आती है |

Tu dur jaye I feel like crying

Jab tumhe dekhu my dil start flying,
Tumse baat karne ko I keep trying,
Jab tu dur jaye I feel like crying,
Arre itna mat chad I was just lying.

Mein sawan hoon tum baadal ho,
Mein normal hoon tum pagal ho,
Mein panni hoon tum tanki ho,
Mein tarzan hoon tum monkey ho!!!!

Apne daanto pe lagao

Angoor ka manjan apne daanto pe lagao,
Kuch dinon baad saare daant haath mey pao.

Raaton ki need ud jaati

Shayeri by boy- agar ker leti ishq hamse vo,
Uski raaton ki need ud jaati.
Isi bahane raat ko padti rehti,
Kam se kam uski compartment
To na aati.

Rishte Me To Hum Tumhare Baap

Pahle Amitambh Bachan kehta kehte -
"Rishte Me To Hum Tumhare Baap Lgte Hi"
Or
Ab kehte h-"Buddha Hoga Tera Baap".

Aasani Se Nahi Mile Tum

Palko Pe Apni Baithaya Hai Tumhe,
Badi Dino Ke Baad Paya Hai Tumhe,
Aasani Se Nahi Mile Tum,
National Zoological Park Se Churaya Hai Tumhe…

Sabjiyo wali Gujiya.

Ek Ladka Ladki Hotel mein gaye....

Waiter:- Kya Loge???
Ladki:- Sabjiyo wali Gujiya.
Waiter:- What???
Ladka:- Ye Biharan hai, MOMOS mang rahi hai. Kuch shikh le

Agar tumhe 1 lakh mil jaye to kya kroge

Santa-Agar tumhe 1 lakh mil jaye to kya kroge
Banta-To mai khusi se pagal ho jaunga aur zindgi bhar apna treatment karaunga..

Tum se shaadi karne se jyada sahsi kaam aur kya ho sakta hai?

Girlfriend to Boyfriend : Me tum se tabi shaadi karungi jab tum koi sahsi kaam kar ke dikhaoge.
Funny  Boyfriend : Tum se shaadi karne se jyada sahsi kaam aur kya ho sakta hai?

INDIA gareeb desh hai

Ek videshi aadmi ek INDIAN se bola:    INDIA gareeb desh hai. 
INDIAN replied:   Kutte jitna oil tum log saal bhar me khate ho, 
utna to hum ek shaniwaar  ko SHANIDEV ko chadha dete hain.

Raat ko mujhse milne ghar ki chat par aana

Pinky- Raat ko mujhse milne ghar ki chat par aana.
Raju-kyu??
Pinky-Mujhey tumhey rakhi jo bandni hai

Q G roz subah mere chere pe pani kyo dalte ho

WIFE-Q G roz subah mere chere pe pani kyo dalte ho?

Hubby-Tumhare pita ne kaha tha meri beti phool k tarah hai isse murzhne mat

dena isliy...

Mam pair andar rakho

CHINTI auto me baithi or 1 pair bahar rakha. 
Driver-Mam pair andar rakho. 
CHINTI-nhi,raste me HATHI mile to LAAT marni hai, kal saala aankh maar k gya
tha...

I LOVE YOU DEAR will u marry me

BOY- I LOVE YOU DEAR will u marry me??
GIRL- Ye to purana hai koi naya style ???

BOY -Apni LAASH ko aag lagane ka MOUKA mere Bete ko degi kya?????????

Tumhare ghar ki chai bahut achhi th

Teacher To student: Tumhare ghar ki chai bahut achhi thi.

Student: Sir, agar Billi ne dudh jootha nahi kiya hota to aur achhi hoti.

Shukar rabb da ankh bach gai.

Santa : Badda dukh hoya si teri wife di mout ki khabar sunker, wase hoya ki si?

Banta : Goli lagi si matthe vich.

Santa : Shukar rabb da ankh bach gai.

Whole body born in Punjab.

Boss: Where were you born ?

Sardarji: Oye Punjab.

Boss: Which part?

Sardarji: Oye, Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab.

Lalu Ji, koi hint toh do na plz

Lalu to Rabri: Agar tum batao ki iss bag ke andar kya hai, toh sare eggs tumare, agar tum batao kitne eggs toh 8 ke 8 tumare, aur agar tum bata do ke ande kiske hai toh woh murgi bhi tumari.

Rabri: Lalu Ji, koi hint toh do na plz?

Break nahi maar sakte they kya

Ek pathan Cycle chalate aur gungunate howekahin ja raha tha rastae mein ek aurat se takra betha.

Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???”

Pathan herat se… “Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.”