Hum tumhe aankhon mein mil jaayenge

Aansu mein naa dhundhna hame,
Hum tumhe aankhon mein mil jaayenge,
Tamanna ho agar milne ki to band aankhon se bhi nazar aaenge. 

Surat se besharm lagta hoon

Kya meri nak tedi hai. ankhen mendki jesi hai. 
Surat se besharm lagta hoon, pagal hoon akal nahi mujhe... 
Phir kise ne aisa kiyo kaha meri surat tumse milte hai.............?

Sadaam and Rani Mukherjee

After being chased from everywhere Sadaam went to Mumbai where he met Rani Mukherjee.

 So he greeted Rani "kahoo Rani ji kya haal hai"?

Rani "kya bataon Sadaam bhai kabhi khushi tu kabhi gum. Apna kahoo Sadaam Bhai.

Sadaam "Kya bataon behna mera tu bus kabhi goli kabhi bumb

KBC Auditions

Since Amitabh Bachchan's contract for Kaun Banega Crorepati is going to expire soon, here are a few persons who could audition for the show.

Nana Patekar: Jaldi se jawab bol. Sahi jawab tere ko lakhpati bana dalega.Galat jawab tere ko hijda bana dega. 

Shatrughan Sinha: Khamosh! Bihari babu ke saamne zaban chalata hai. Tera cheque phaad ke phek doonga. 

Dharmendra: Galat jawab ! Kutte Kameene, main tera khoon pee jaoonga.
 

Amrish Puri: Sahi jawab ! Mogambo khush hua ! 

Amjad Khan: Kitne options the? Chaar ! Soover ke bachchon ! Chaar chaar options ! Bahut nainsaafi hai ! Dhish-keoin Dhish-keoin ! 50-50 kar ke do galat jawab main uda diye. Ab bol, tera kya hoga kaaliya? 

Sanjay Dutt: Aye item log, kaye ko udhar khada hai? Idhar aake mere pass baith jaa. Kya be chikne - tere ko aata hai to bol dal varna main tere ko idhar-eech phod dalega. 

Raj Kumar: Jaani, huuum, hhhuuuum hote to apne dost ko phone kar ke sawaal pooch lete. 

Jagdeep: Bole to Soorma Bhopali - meri jeb ho gayi khaali. Mere pass to koi cheque nahin hain. Arre mujhko jaane do. 

Mithun Chakraborty: Eeyaeech ! Tu audience poll karega ? Aye, yahan ke public ke paas time nahin hai. Kya nahin hai? Time nahin hai.
 

Kesto Mukherji: Hee-heek. Hee-yaik. Apne ko sab kuch do-do dikh rahela hai.Hee-heek. Yeh aath options kidhar se aa gaye? Hee-yok. Apne ko bahut chad gayeli hai.
 

Ashok Kumar: To abhi aapne yeh dekha ( wheeze ), ki yahan se Delhi ke Ramesh Kumar ( gasp), yahan se Rs 20,000 leke chale gaye. ( groan ). Kal aur dus logon ko leke phir milenge Hum Log (croak ).

Priyagold! 'HAQ' Se Maango

Q : What Would Dharmendra Say To Hema Malini If He Wants Her To Call Him Up?
A : RING DE BASANTI¦

 

Q : A Man Asks For Priyagold Biscuits From Inzamam. Why?
A : Priyagold! 'HAQ' Se Maango¦

 

Q : Once An Auto Rickshaw Driver Enters Into NO ENTRY.
      The Police Does Not Stops Him. Why?
A : Because He Was Walking¦

 

Q : Once A Cockroach Was Singing A Song While He Was Walking On The Road...
      But All Of A Sudden He Died. Why?
A : B'coz The Song He Was Singing Was HIT!!!

 

Mallika Sherawat gayi aur bhagwan gayab ho gaya!

Buri niyat wale gayab!

Ek Devta ka mandir tha jisme buri niyat wale gayab ho jata tha.

Salman gaya aur gayab ho gaya, Shahrukh gaya aur who bhi gayab ho gaya.

Mallika Sherawat gayi aur bhagwan gayab ho gaya! 

Socho agar doctor film banate to title kya hota

Socho agar doctor film banate to title kya hota?

1. Kabhi khansi kabhi jukam

2. kaho naa bukhar hai

3. TB no 1

4. Kal patient ho na ho

5. Hum blood de chuke sanam 

Aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai

Basanti : Bhag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.

Dhanno : Tujhe apni padi hai meri soch jiske peeche GABBAR ke 10 ghode pade hai. 

kyunki ab mein Indrajeet nahi……chandaal hoon

” kyunki ab mein Indrajeet nahi……chandaal hoon

tum chaho toh mera program note karlo

…tum sab meri diary mein mar chuke ho!

mein chahoo toh tum sabko abhi mar sakta hoon

magar abhi maarne se tumhe maarne ka credit meri bullet ko mil jayega!!!! ”

(kya logic hai!!!!!!!! !,superb! )

Ajit & robert in cricket match

Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs.Pakistan. Kapil is bowling and Imran is batting.Pakistan needs 18 runs in 3 balls.

Ajit : Rabert Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Beemer daalde aur Imran ko out karde.

Rabert : Ok boss Robert goes to Kapil and tells the message.

Kapil nods and bowls but Imran hits it for a six!

Ajit : Rabert ab Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Yorker daalde aur Imran kaa kaam tamam karde

John Abraham

John Abraham was driving down the street in a sweat because he

had an important meeting and couldn’t find aparking place.

Looking up toward heaven, he said “Lord, take pity on me.

If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the

rest of my life and give up tequila.”

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

John looked up again and said,

“Never mind. I found one.”

Izzat ka sawal hai

Basanti : Bhag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.

Dhanno : Tujhe apni padi hai meri soch jiske peeche GABBAR ke 10 ghode pade hai.